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My Story: Early Doubts (6)


My parents did not discuss homosexuality that I remember until I was old enough to have figured it out on my own. It likely came up in Bible readings but was never elaborated on.

I had an uncle who was gay and was in a relationship with a great guy whom he is with to this day. At first his companion was referred to as uncle Dave’s friend Andrew (names changed). Dave and Andrew were good buddies who traveled together and sometimes came to family holidays.

However, I soon figured out on my on that they were (most likely) a couple. My confirmation came when I got mail addressed from both of them. I knew this was supposed to be wrong and the idea of me being in a similar relationship was repulsive. Despite these beliefs I never once felt animosity towards them or felt that they should be viewed as different.

Perhaps 3 years into my uncle’s relationship, my parent’s had this big meeting to break to us some sad and disheartening news. Somehow, I thought it might have to be the fact that my uncle was gay and sure enough they told us the terrible news. We were encouraged to pray for them but warned about their sinful lifestyle.

This was by no means the first time my extended family was put in a bad light for their wicked ways; however, it was the most obvious. Throughout childhood, but to my dismay and regret, my family discriminated, spoke ill of, and mistreated those of our extended family we deemed to be more sinful then ourselves.

While I did not agree with homosexuality during childhood, I couldn’t help but wonder “why is this such a bad sin? It is certainly spoken about in the Bible, but what about gluttony? Or women being silent in the church? Or laws requiring stoning? How do these get a free pass?”

I cannot say my conscious is clear in my thoughts an actions towards those I didn’t agree with as a child, but I can say that by the time I was in college any hint of animosity toward them had vanished.

Once again, the idea of fear is the most prevalent toward homosexuality. Fear of that which was different. Fear of those who didn’t have our sexual preferences. Fear of those who didn’t follow our religion the way we did. I didn’t share those fears towards those who were different. Even if I felt I should disagree with them, it was never out of fear or hate toward them.


4 thoughts on “My Story: Early Doubts (6)

  1. A saying I hear often is “parents do the best they could”. My family is very religious and still are. That has caused a huge gap in our current relationship. Pray it away, is like saying pray to win the lotto, the slots, the card game. I did feel like the failure in my family, however I have build my own life that is independent of my family. I had a very privileged upbringing and am very greatful for who I am, and what my family did sacrifice for me and my siblings. My gay uncle committed suicide so that did not help my cause. Today I am me, love meor leave me is how I live my life. Great post and I really like your home page. Ivan.

  2. There are 7 passages in the Bible that may refer to Homosexuality, but are they really? The Bible has been interpreted many times. Many passages are interpreted in different ways with different meanings. There are NO references in the New Testament about Homosexuality. Jesus loves us all just as he made us.

    1. The initial problem is that people take a book written by shepherds and fisherman 2000 years ago to be literally applicable to today. Sure there may be some good things in there but culture and society are completely different. Regardless of what those people meant to say back then, we now know that judging people based on sexual orientation is wrong. We don’t need an ancient book to tell us whether or not it is moral to be attracted to the same sex. Even if Jesus did say that homosexuality was wrong, we could conclusively say based on what we know now, that he was wrong. Of course he didn’t say anything about it like you said. Thanks for the comment

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