That’s in part why we have expectations. We are trying to make life as predictable as possible, essentially fighting against the uncertainty. Some people spend their entire miserable lives fighting uncertainty.
We want people to live according to the way we want our life to play out. So we have expectations for them. This is not reality. Life never goes as planned.
For a lot of people this is impossibly hard. They try to control everything. They hate when they feel like life is outside their control. These emotions stem from security. They are present in a weak willed person who is not able to adapt or adjust.
Unfortunately most of us are like this to some extent. So don’t be offended when I call you a weak willed person. We are all weak sometimes.
However there are those of us who either by circumstances or by intentional learning have come to embrace change. We learn to accept the fact that life will throw a curve balls and see that exciting. We won’t always know the outcome.
These are the people who are able to live expectation free. These are the people who are able to be happy in a relationship. Because first I want to be happy with the way that life is.
The inevitable fact is that life will change, that you cannot predict it, that you cannot control it, and that most of your expectations will not be met the way you think that they will be. But the person who embraces that sees this is exciting, because he sees this as a way for greater and better things to happen he ever dreamed of.
This is the person who can truly be happy in a relationship. Because he will see that just as he could not control life as a single person he cannot control life as a dating or married person. And that can honestly be quite exciting.
Of course if you end up with someone who is trying to control you and run your life and has a million expectations for you then sure you probably won’t be very happy. But hopefully as an independent free thinking person you will realize before you ever get serious with that person there tendencies do you have unrealistic expectations and to be controlling. And you will run away. Trust me run away.
This series will morph into another series about insecurities and why they drive relationships. However this is the last series that specifically will focus on expectations please leave your comments and let me know what you think. I am obviously not an expert and have not experienced every life situation I certainly could have missed something.
Author: Jesse Leake
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