In my last article I briefly discussed how one of the most confident things a man can do is be humble. This sounds at first like an oxymoron.
Isn’t a confident person sure of himself? Isn’t he supposed to be making decisions based on the idea that he is right and that he knows the answer?
Not exactly. You see just as there is a fine line between hate and love, there is a fine line between arrogance and humility. And Confidence actually should come across as humility more often than not.
A confident man or woman has the humility to admit he is wrong. Admitting you are wrong or being willing to change how you think takes significant confidence. You have to be confident enough in who you are at your core that you do not feel defeated and unloved when someone calls you out.
Arrogance is a weakness. The inability to admit wrong doing shows that you just can’t emotionally handle someone else knowing more than you. But let’s be honest, who really knows everything? In fact most of us only know a small fraction of what is really going on in any situation. Therefore chances are we will be wrong, or at least have the wrong perspective, numerous times, even in one day.
Pride is also a weakness. Pride is most often the fake fancy store front that people put up to hide the dilapidated building behind it. It’s a mask. We all wear it from time to time. But most often it is an insecurity that we are trying to hide. In other words, when we are prideful we are simply not confident enough for people to see us for who we really are.
Humility therefore takes a lot of confidence to pull off. Because in essence you are saying, “look this is me, I’m not perfect and I may be wrong about you, but I’m not going to hide behind insecurities like pride and arrogance. So give it to me straight, I’m confident enough in who I am at my core to accept that I may be wrong about some things.”
Why is this so important in a relationship?
After confidence, I think the number one thing that girls tell me over and over again is that they want a guy who is humble. Think about the cultural stereotype for men, we don’t ask for directions, we don’t ask for help, and we don’t admit we are wrong. This is absurd! Why do we fall for it? Women don’t even want men who act like this. Are we this weak that we must pretend we know it all?
The same goes for what men want in a woman too though. Men don’t want a woman who thinks she is always right. These women often put men down because if something goes wrong it must be his felt.
From what I have seen, for a relationship to grow and develop, both people must be humble. Both people must frequently be willing to change how they see the other person. Both people must be willing to look through the other person’s glasses. Both people must be willing to adapt their perspective. Both people must have the confidence to be humble enough to admit they were wrong.
Author: Jesse Leake
Personal questions or comments? Need advice? Email me email@example.com
Check me out on Twitter @jesse_leake