For many people the idea of romance is becoming a historic phenomenon. Broken dating relationships with tragic break ups, long term marriages falling apart, open relationships the norm, romantic relationships revealed as fake and fragile.
It’s not that most of us don’t want love. It’s just that we’re either falling blindly for someone based on hormones and insecurities or we’re becoming jaded by the slew of personal experiences and surrounding examples of love that turned out not to be quite so loving.
The few and far between who seem to get it right often appear to lucky more than anything else. And perhaps they are. The few who end up married and who end up working through the subsequent challenges of long term love, often appear to do so at the price of romance.
And if by chance they were able to keep that romantic spirit, their love like that of a fairy tale, is what drives us into these passionate romantic flings that rarely lead to long term happiness.
To those of you who are now watching your youthful dreams of love collapse I would still say this:
Don’t give up on love.
Just because the ideals around you are crumbling and your lofty dreams of a knight in shining armor on a while horse whisking you off the ground and riding off through a field of wildflowers . . . are just dreams for now, don’t give up. Don’t settle. Don’t take second best.
And just because you and your parents and your friends and your pastors and your professors and your boss’s relationships aren’t working now; doesn’t mean that you can’t find love. In fact, if you have the right perspective it should only be making you that much more prepared to love when the time is right.
A lot of times we talk about people that have a lot of baggage. “Dude she’s a nice girl but she’s got some baggage you’ll have to work through”. “Hun I just don’t know about him, he’s been through a lot and later that’s going to come back and haunt you”. And our assumption is that somehow we don’t or that this baggage has to define them.
Neither is true. We all have trouble behind us. It’s how we deal with it and grow from it that counts. And we should never be defined by our baggage. Instead we should define our baggage as obstacles overcome, challenges conquered, love lost that made us a better person.
Love is tough to come by. And it’s not always the last seen of Tangled. But those moments do exist. And you can still have them.
Let your idea of love mature.
Accept that fairytales don’t happen (but they can be created).
Realize that no lover will give you happily ever after (but you can have that on your own).
Embrace the fact that relationships aren’t all romantic (but delight in those moments that are).
Choose to let the past teach you (but never define you).
And always remember to give others a second chance.
Author: Jesse Leake
Personal questions or comments? Need advice? Email me firstname.lastname@example.org
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