I have to credit a friend for stating that line above. But certainly how true of a statement is that? It seems that many men are looking for a woman and complaining of the lack of good women out there (rightfully so perhaps), and yet are unwilling to consider that maybe…
The men need to change to make themselves suitable for the women they want.
Of course, before one can even go about molding himself into his dream girl’s dream man, he must consider two things:
Do I really want a woman or am I just scared of being alone?
What kind of woman do I really want?
Society still honors marriage and long term relationships. Sure we argue over gay marriage, cohabitation, multiple partners; but the norm is presented as marriage. Oddly this is not the happy choice for many people (as high as 60% end in divorce and more are not happy).
So consider, am I following a dream that society and my upbringing idealized? Or am I chasing something I really want and am prepared to see through?
Men often get carried away by their emotions. Emotional men seems odd to women who are used to macho men who hide their feelings. However, it’s true that men get crushes on women they may not really be compatible with. Growing to be the right man for these women will only end in a disaster.
Therefore, it is essential for the man to consider exactly who he is, where he is going, what he values in a woman. Are you consistently attracted to international women with their cultural differences? Do you value southern house wife? Is your mom the standard by which you judge all other women? Do you prefer a leadership position or a partnership? What direction are you going with your faith and political ideas?
Before you can satisfy the question of “what kind of woman do I want”, you have to determine who you are. This is tough because we are in constant flux. Sometimes the women we find ourselves drawn to actually help us figure out who we are.
The woman you are attracted to may be a life a mirror. A mirror of the man you wish to be. She may reflect those qualities and values that you hold but don’t always live. So don’t think that a good woman can’t help you figure out who you really are. But be careful not to let a good woman determine who you are.
The best relationship advice I ever received was this
“You need to figure out who you are before you will be able to give of yourself to another person”.
Author: Jesse Leake
Personal questions or comments? Need advice? Email me firstname.lastname@example.org
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