delayed gratification · relationships

Delayed gratification (Part 1)

Delayed Gratification: Like climbing the mountain to see the view rather than looking at pictures on Google.

We live in a now society. Everyone knows this. And some stuff is just not worth waiting for. If you can have it faster or now and there are no consequences why wait? I don’t see the point in waiting for slow traffic or slow internet.

So what about in relationships? Should we get what we can get now? Or will we end up more satisfied in the long run if we practice delayed gratification?

Once again I think it depends on the situation, the type of relationship, and the direction you want to go with it. If you really aren’t looking for anything serious, delayed gratification may not be in your best interest. Once again, if you aren’t looking for a long-term friendship, an acquaintance for the moment may do just fine.

Here’s where it gets tricky. What about those long nights hanging out with some new acquaintances at the expense of spending time with a best friend?

Or how about the age old dating advice “it’s not worth spending time with someone of the opposite sex unless you see potential because when you marry you won’t be friends with them anyway”.

Now that second statement needs a quick rebuttal before I address its legitimate concerns. Having very close opposite sex friends in marriage is usually not healthy; having some (generally speaking) is. Second that statement assumes the end all be all of opposite sex relationships is marriage. In my opinion, it shouldn’t be. Marriage is not guaranteed for all of us and for many it does not last.

It would seem that the key is balance. You don’t want to spend all your time with your best friend no matter how good of friends you are. I know people who have that one best friend who is always attached at their hip and they are not well rounded people.

Similarly you don’t want to waste exorbitant amounts of time wining and dining a girl with whom you see no possibility and nothing to learn from. However, if you find the friendship to be enriching, the conversation enlightening, and you find that you are mutually beneficial to each other, my advice? By all means keep it up!

Read my post on relationships and honesty. In a nutshell, with these types of friendships you need to be honest. Be honest with the girl that you truly want to be “just friends” . . . forever (just friends make the best future wives) if she asks if you are interested in her. Similarly be honest with your best friend when you choose an acquaintance over him so that he knows you’re not rejecting him but rather broadening your horizons.


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