We as humans have a hard time separating romantic feelings and physical intimacy from reality. We have a hard time thinking clearly when we are entangled in romantic relationships. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Numerous women say that they love the feeling of being completely out of control. I think that guys could say the same thing. That’s why we are often so quick to get swept up in passionate romances. We want to be carried along.
That’s fine. But you can’t start making commitments when you’re in a passionate romance. That’s like signing an important medical document or a mortgage on your house when you’re drunk. Terrible idea.
Unless of course you know exactly what you are getting into. That’s where friendship comes into play. You keep yourself from emotionally or physically falling for someone until you develop a solid friendship with them. This is not for their protection but yours. You don’t want to end up married expecting a child with a completely incompatible woman.
Of course, there are a few of us who are very good at separating emotional feelings from reality and can often mix the two. This takes a lot of practice and is like tight roping the Grand Canyon. You better be sure you are in control before you try.
The problem I run into that seems to be fairly universal is this: guys get bored and girls start nagging.
Guys get bored if the girl isn’t romantic. I’ve heard too many guys say that they see no point in being friends with females if they don’t see marriage with them in the future. Fair enough. You may not have close female friends besides your wife afterward. However, learning to enjoy female friendship may be necessary for you to EVER have a good marriage in the first place.
Girls want the ring. They want you to commit. They want a promise. Or they date someone else. Few girls are able to keep from nagging or pressuring a guy to move to the next level. Or from being jealous of his other female friends.
Guys struggle with jealousy too. They think “If I don’t wife her up someone else will”. It’s this mentality that you only get one shot at love so you better take it while you can.
Friendship presents from a totally different perspective. Most marriages I observe in the southern Baptist Christian bubble are devoid of true friendship. Normal friends don’t get jealous when you talk to other friends. Normal friends don’t spend more time canoodling than talking. Normal friends don’t spend hours and hours, day after day, for a year planning for a 1 hour event on one day of their life stressing themselves out and everyone else too.
Today’s challenge: make a friend with the opposite sex. See who they are without dates, flowers, and romance. You can always awaken the romance later.
Author: Jesse Leake
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