Why are we always looking for the next thing? Why do we always see something else and think that if only we had that or if only we could get to that place we could be happy? How many girls out there are thinking, if only I could meet that perfect guy and get married to him my life would finally be complete? Come on don’t lie. You know that’s why you came to Liberty. What about relationships makes us think that if only we could change something with the current status we would experience true emotional satisfaction and happiness that we’ve never really known?
You know I’d love to meet that guy or girl who held that kind of power over me that they could truly make my life so perfect and happy. That would be quite amazing! (Don’t get me wrong, being with an amazing person is . . . well amazing. But for different reasons).
Perhaps we are looking at this entire situation wrong. Perhaps what really makes an amazing relationship (or an amazing single person who is a magnet for relationships because they are so happy) is someone who is completely fulfilled and happy in the life they currently have. What if you could wake up every morning and truly be happy about the inside jokes you would enjoy at work, the challenges you would face at your new internship (nursing clinicals!!!), the endorphin high you would get off that grueling 8 mile run, or the laughs and deep conversations with your friends over late night coffee. What if the hard times in life weren’t depressing but challenges, exciting opportunities to overcome? What if the failed relationships weren’t failures at all, but simply valuable feedback on how to become a better person?
See here’s what it comes down to. Most people aren’t happy in life. Most people are either complacently content to live without any of the things they want, settling themselves to the dismal existence someone else created. Or they are constantly coveting the things that they can’t have thinking that once they reach that place they will be happy.
This sounds a bit harsh but normally we don’t think of it in these terms. We think in terms of “I can’t wait to finish my degree, it’s so hard!” Or how about “why do I have to go into work tonight, my boss is so annoying.” I’ve said stuff like that.
Innate happiness is creating joy for yourself in any situations. It is not allowing your circumstances to dictate your happiness. It is finding true contentment in where you are (and in the grace of the one you serve). And if where you are truly sucks. You change it. Because you can. And if you can’t. You love it.
I used to see these ideas as psychological concepts that were of little value in real life. I used to think that you can’t really change your attitude or emotions. But I’m starting to think you can. I am starting to believe that you can become exceedingly content and happy in the moment where you are while simultaneously striving for the best. This is what makes an excellent relationship. Two people who are not filling voids of loneliness and insecurity in each other but two people whose impact on and satisfaction in the world around them in compounded by being together.